This musing will find posting as “About” regarding Matters of the Heart, building Christian Character. Considering current events, I thought this a somewhat timely musing.
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When mom put us on “Time Out”
Do you recall as a child being sent to your room for a disciplinary “Time Out?” Maybe you’ve done this as a parent with a child of your own. Lately, I feel like we’ve all been sent to our rooms for “Time Out” by our Heavenly Parent.
As a disciplinary tool a time-out has some merit, but is not really very helpful as a final cure or corrective. In fact, after raising three boys and a daughter, and observing seven grandchildren, all repeating life’s lessons, I believe a “time out” strategy to be overrated and inefficient. I think it is more for the parent or authority figure wanting a rest from conflict, a moment of calm and quiet in the day’s ensuing battles.
Taking a Time Out is just that, a pause in the action, but it is passive pause. It is a good thing to “stop,” but there is that eventual and necessary “now what?” that follows. Determining “what’s next” provides an opportunity to turn a “time out” into to an active or proactive tool for change; a time to stop, think, acknowledge and respond in correcting what went wrong. A STAR moment.
Gardens Just Don’t Happen, and neither does a life of self-discipline and accomplishment.
I was privileged at the end of my career to finish out serving my last nine active employment years as the Principal of Covenant Christian Academy. It was indeed a blessing. During that time, it was a joy to work with a dedicated staff engaged in elementary, K-8th grade, education viewed towards Training Hearts and Teaching Minds in All Wisdom for Life in Christ. In the process we utilized several tools to coordinate our day to day responsibilities. Regarding Christian Character development, we adopted the term TEAM2work as the banner phrase defining our Character Education, our core value guiding all our curriculum. Our approach to discipline and discipleship was captured in the word STAR, Stop, Think, Acknowledge, and Respond. (Psalm 139)
Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
(Ps. 139:23-24, KJV).
True education is not a task left just to the professionals alone, it is a team effort within three spheres of the covenant community – home, school, and church. As such Training Hearts and Teaching Minds in All Wisdom for Life in Christ calls for a whole person approach. It solicits a Character Advocate partnership of TEAM2work – Teach, Encourage, Advocate, Mentor/Model to foster godly Habits of the Heart.
STAR represents a biblical model for decision making, accountability, and responsibility. It is a discipline and discipleship process (Stop, Think, Acknowledge, and Respond) meant to continuously engage our universal chief end to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (WSC Q1 & 1 Cor. 10:31). We face many blessed teaching opportunities and STAR moments to correct and redirect actions in terms of faith and repentance in fulfilling the will God (Mark 12:30-31).
It is not the events that define us, but how we choose to react to them that define who we are – anon
STAR is a discipleship assessment a tool to evaluate heart/behavior with the view to our chief and highest end [which) is to glorify God, and fully to enjoy him forever (WLC #1). STAR components are defined as follows:
STOP
“Search me, O God, and know my heart…”
*Stop: To give myself time to think before choosing an action or behavior.
*Stop: To take time to make a wise decision.
*Stop: To realize I have choices.
*Stop: To consider the consequences that can lead me to making the right choices.
*Stop: To humbly reflect, consider, and think about my heart’s attitude and direction in myself and others.
THINK
“…try me, and know my thoughts…”
*Think: About alternatives and assess consequences.
*Think: About what is God-honoring: honesty, respect, justice, truth, integrity, generosity, kindness, courage, and helpfulness.
*Think: About the essentials of my chief end and purpose to serve God and others first.
*Think: About the situation humbly, knowing I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
*Think: About the situation with others in order to get input, correction, instruction, help, and encouragement.
ACKNOWLEDGE(1)
“…see if there be any wicked way in me…”
*Acknowledge: That each moment I am faced with a choice to follow the Lord or my own way.
* Acknowledge: That my chief end is to glorify God by trusting Him for the outcome in all things.
* Acknowledge: That my own heart is affected by sin and affects all my thinking and doing.
* Acknowledge: That I must assess, admit and accept responsibility for my own actions.
* Acknowledge: That I must repent and reject pride with an attitude of humble reliance upon Christ, who will strengthen me in all things.
RESPOND
“…lead me in the way everlasting.”
*Respond: In a way that is pleasing to God, confessing sin and calling upon Christ for strength to endure.
* Respond: In a way that is teachable, being willing to learn by my mistakes and successes as well.
* Respond: In a way that looks to God and within, trusting is His wisdom and not my own.
* Respond: In a way that reflects the glory of God, with an obedient and loving attitude towards Him and others
* Respond: In a way that shows true repentance where needed, with gratitude and joy.
From a biblical view, the STAR process is a Matter of the Heart “time-out” with the view towards Training Hearts and Teaching Minds in All Wisdom for Life in Christ. (Prov 23:7)
Again, “Crisis does not make character, it reveals it.” – anon
I, the LORD, search the heart, I test the mind, even to give every man according to his ways, according to the fruit of his doings.
Jer. 17:10
In Summary: A STAR Moment is a “time out” opportunity to stop, think, acknowledge and respond in getting to the thoughts and desires of the heart, speaking truth on love into the heart. (Heb. 4:12; Eph. 4:15)
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and shall direct your paths.
Prov. 3:5-6
(1) Assessment is an important evaluative element of Acknowledge. Assessment is deliberative, belonging to Think as well. Assessment calls for discernment, providing a bridge and connecting component in the entire STAR process. (Prov. 16:25; 25:2)
